Battling Imposter Syndrome with The Power of Affirmations

September 2024 | Lisa Marie Ardner

Young Woman smiling in the mirror

Battling Imposter Syndrome is a journey! As I continue to grow in understanding “that voice” and reflect on ways to combat this foe, I made a powerful discovery I want to share with you. You and I have an internal, ready-to-use resource available at any time.  This resource can enhance job satisfaction, confidence, and personal and professional relationships.

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter Syndrome is more common than you know.  Imposter syndrome is a pervasive feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt.  It often shows up in our self-talk. I call it, “that voice.” It is that inner doubt, that speaks loudly to us, “Who do you think you are to_____?  You are not ____ (funny, smart, beautiful)! You fill in the blanks. You are going to fail (make a fool of yourself, be rejected).” It often shows up as an unwelcomed internal dialogue. The imposter syndrome often shows up as an inner critic or internal judge (and can be very harsh indeed!)

The “imposter phenomenon” was first based on the clinical observations of Dr. Pauline Clance.  She describes this as “intense feelings that their achievements are undeserved and worry that they are likely to be exposed as a fraud” (Sakulku & Alexander, 2011). No matter one’s success, those experiencing imposter syndrome believe they are not deserving of success (Psychology Today, n.d.). The impact of imposter syndrome can be dramatic on one’s confidence, well-being, and motivation.  However, we have a wonderful antidote for this affirmations are a powerful tool for combating the imposter syndrome.

According to the International Journal of Behavioral Science, more than 70% of people are impacted by workplace imposter thoughts (Cascio et. al., 2016). We are not alone my friends!

Years ago, I watched “Tall Girl” with my pre-teen granddaughter.  This lovely film has some redeeming qualities and a powerful message.  Jodi, played by Ava Michelle, is a seventy-three-inch, six-foot-one-inch tall sixteen-year-old girl.  She is often bullied for her height.  This inspirational movie helps young people understand that they are not alone and that they can change their inner story/dialogue.  “We all have something about ourselves we want to change. It’s how we deal with it that matters.”  How do you deal with “that voice?”

Just like Jodi, many of us have self-doubt and insecurity.  We have difficulty admitting this or even talking about it.  It is a journey to quiet that negative inner voice and learn to be compassionate with myself.   Yet, when I am authentic and honest and talk about it, I bring it to the light.  When that voice is in the light, it loses some power over me.  There is always room to grow. When I acknowledge “that voice,” it loses some of the impact.

In Tall Girl 2, Jodi’s sister defines “that voice” as something that has always been there.  She tells Jodi, “This one is louder and makes you believe all your worst fears and insecurities are true.”  She goes on to say, “You are out there. The more out there you are, the louder that voice gets.  There is no worse bully than the one you create in your head” (Tall Girl 2022).  Watch the movie trailer. 

What is your inner dialogue when you achieve something amazing.  Have you ever been plagued by a nagging voice whispering, “You’re a fraud!  If people knew you, they would not be charmed”?  “Who do you think you are?” This is that voice.  The voice of our inner critic, the internal judge. Your voice may try to plant different seeds of negativity than mine. What does your voice say to you?

What if imposter syndrome has an upside?

Imposter syndrome reminds me to be compassionate and kind to myself.  When that harsh, critical, brutally honest voice comes to mind, I can use all the negative energy this creates inside to fuel new motivation.  It reminds me I may need something.  Maybe I need some self-encouragement.  I may need a kind, nurturing, thoughtful, and truthful voice.

Combat using Affirmations

Affirmations are a superpower in engaging with others.  In motivational interviewing (MI), affirmations are used to first engage with an individual and can be as simple as, “Thank you for coming in today.”  Affirmations communicate absolute worth and value of the individual.  Affirmations are a part of the framework of the spirit of MI.  The way I see the individual sitting across from me has so much to do with how well the time together will go.  When I see to notice and verbalize the strengths, efforts, values, and attributes of another, I am using affirmations. 

Acknowledge what is strong vs. what is wrong

Affirmations allow me to acknowledge what is strong in the individual versus what is wrong with them.  Bill Miller, the founder of Motivational Interviewing, says, and I am paraphrasing, “People are the undisputed experts on themselves.  No one has been with them longer or knows them better than they do themselves” (Miller, n.d.)  Affirmations turn my attention to the strengths, efforts, skills, values, and positive attributes of an individual. 

Affirmations restore self-competence

Affirmations “restore self-competence by allowing individuals to reflect on sources of self-worth, such as core values” (Cascio et. al., 2016).  This study reviewed magnetic resonance imaging for both affirmed and unaffirmed individuals.  The results were astonishing. Affirmed individuals demonstrate increased activity in the brain’s self-processing and reward (medial frontal cortex and posterior cingulate cortex) and valuation (ventral striatum and ventral medial prefrontal cortex) systems. (Cascio et. al., 2016). 

Bill Miller, founder of Motivational Interviewing, writes of affirmations having a positive impact on influencing behavior change (Miller & Rollnick, 2023). This research indicates that affirmations light up the pleasure and reward portion of my brain as I give affirmations.  As I receive the affirmations (from myself or others) it also lights up the pleasure and reward center of my brain.  Affirmations are life giving! 

Affirmations can be simple or complex

Simple affirmations refer to something a person has said or done.  Complex affirmations comment on admirable attributes, enduring strengths, values, and personal characteristics. Complex affirmations are more about the depths of who I am as a person.  Affirmations are not cheerleading or “attaboys.”  They go beyond, “Great job” or “Way to go.”

How to give an affirmation - See and Say

Affirmations typically start with “You…” and are a type of reflection.  We reflect what we see and hear (simple affirmation) or who the person is (complex affirmation.)

To give an affirmation, I must first see something worthy of affirmation.  This involves my way of seeing individuals sitting across from me, my way of seeing myself.  Once I notice the content of the affirmation, I can acknowledge it and say it out loud.  I give words to my affirmation and share it with myself or others.   

Affirmations and the Picture in my Mind

There is nothing more affirming (or more damaging) than the picture I see in my mind.  My enemy loves to bring pictures to mind of failure, insincerity, blunder, mistakes, etc.  However, I can take that picture and re-story or re-picture it.  I create a new picture. I can choose to see the “screen/scene on my mind” through a lens of gratitude and compassion.  It changes everything.

a small stone on dragonfly tablecloth

A Stone of Remembrance

Walking into work, my ankle twisted, and down I went in a heap, almost in slow motion to the ground.  My first thought was, “You are so ***** clumsy, such an idiot!” and my second thought, “Oh man, I hope no one sees me!” 

In a flash, I was given an instant gift.  An aerial observer view of the scene of myself.  The whole scene flashed before me as if I was watching it happen to someone else.  I was a witness to a dear, sweet lady falling to the ground, watching almost as if from above looking down below (maybe how my heavenly Father would see me).  I was filled with such concern and compassion. 

In my mind’s eye, I rushed to her (my) side expressing my care, concern, and compassion.  In that moment, my soul flooded with love and compassion for ME!  Tears flooded my eyes.  I counseled myself with the truth that I was indeed one of the most compassionate people I know when it comes to others and yet how lacking in compassion, I was just now to myself.  I would never call anyone “an idiot” or “***** clumsy.”  I would never have shamed anyone for a stumble!  I permitted myself to feel it fully!  All the shame, the embarrassment, and the love and the compassion for myself.  It was such a beautiful healing gift to me.

Later that day as I walked to my car, I saw this little stone at the very place I had turned my ankle and fallen.  I picked it up with gratitude, feeling a twinge of pain from my skinned hands and bloody knees remembering the gift of love this stone would help me to remember.  My stone of remembrance!

Comparison Steals Our Joy

Though the source of this quote is debatable, “comparison is the thief of joy” the meaning is powerful!  When I begin to compare myself to others, comparing my insides to their outsides, I fall incredibly short.  I quickly lose my contentment and my joy. Have you been allowing comparison to steal your joy?

Don’t Dim Your Light

Comparison moves me into feeding imposter syndrome.  When I feed the imposter, my self-talk is damaging.  It is the voice of harsh criticism. You were made to shine. When you speak unkindly to yourself, it activates your stress response system. 

TNK

One simple way to catch and challenge your self-talk can be to recognize it.  Once you recognize it, ask these three questions about what you are saying:

1)    Is it true?

2)   Is it necessary?

3)   Is it kind?

3 ACTIVATIONS: 

1) The next time you look in the mirror, see and say something positive to yourself.  Give yourself an affirmation.  (I am worthy.  I am beautiful.  I am enough.) 

2) The next time someone gives you a compliment (or affirmation), say “thank you.”  One strong way to partner with imposter syndrome is to affirm it with compassion and kindness. 

3) See and Say Affirmations (words of appreciation, gratitude, kindness to others.)

After a short while of practicing this, see if it doesn’t improve your confidence and boost your positive feelings of self-worth. Notice how your relationships with yourself and others improve.

References:

• Cascio, C. N., O’Donnell, M. B., Tinney, F. J., Lieberman, M. D., Taylor, S. E., Strecher, V. J., & Falk, E. B. (2016, April). Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation. Social cognitive and affective neuroscience. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4814782/

•  Miller, W. R., & Rollnick, S. (2023). Motivational interviewing: Helping people change and grow. The Guilford Press.

•  Sakulku, J., & Alexander, J. (2011). The Imposter Phenomenon. International Journal of Behavioral Science, 6(No.1).

•  Sussex Publishers. (n.d.). Imposter syndrome. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/imposter-syndrome

Important Disclaimer:  This blog is designed to provide general information on a variety of topics and should not substitute for professional medical advice.  The information presented here is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.  Always seek the guidance of your doctor or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding your health or medical and mental health conditions